I don't know

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I'll take that one! No, not that one. Maybe this one. I can't deal with this indecisiveness. It's too much for me!

“Third base!”
~ Abbot and Costello on I don't know
“In Soviet Russia, know doesn't YOU!!”
~ Russian Reversal on I don't know
“'I don't know' is a prase used by one who lacks familiarity with a fact or object to communicate his or her ignorance to one who is posing a query about said fact or object.”
~ Captain Obvious on I don't know
“I don't know that... AAAAAAGGHHHHH!!!”
~ Old Man on African Swallows
“The more you know, the more you know you don't know”
~ mr.wise guy on I don't know
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I don't know...

i don't actually know what to say only because i just read the requirements for writing an article for this website but i don't actually know what to say which results to me writing incredibly long sentences that don't really make sense grammar wise. i supposes i'm only writing this no existent article in the hope that it will get approved for some stupid reason. i hope whoever reads this enjoys reading this and if they don't then i don't blame them because this is really quiet full of crap basically. i'm guessing the people who approve these articles get a few like this because people are not very funny. i did see the ya mum article, it was very funny especially the picture that you first see. just by looking at some of the articles i'm guessing that people spend way too much time creating the most purposeless article they can and spending way too much time just to get their article approved. i must say that i should get some sort of credit for actually reading your advise, well some of it. i must say that i did write an article yesterday but i didn't read the advice you gave so i had no idea you didn't want articles with personal jokes between you and a friend. oh well, what do you do?? all i can say is.. have fun people. don't delete this straight away

after all, i know how to use the buttons like the bold and italics button.. surely that gives me even more credit points. hope you have a lovely day I am.

Has This Ever Happened to You??


I don't know who this is... I can't remember. Maybe one of my aides can tell me.

This is a real-life testimonial from a poor, confused Uncyclopedia n00b. It reflects the terror, nay, the anguish of not knowing something. In this case, the thing unknown to the writer may have been the location of the comma key on the standard QWERTY keyboard, or possibly that you are supposed to capitalize the first word of every sentence, but we just aren't sure. I mean, how could we REALLY tell. You know?

I have heard that a lot of people have had problems with not knowing things. It makes sense, I guess. I mean, like what if you were... Um... Help me out here. I can't really think of a situation. So... Um. Damn. I really thought I had a good idea for this article but I forgot. I guess I'll try the origins of "I don't know."

Origins of "I don't know"

I don't know was coined somewhere by that one guy a while back, I think. There may or may not be controversy surrounding this. Also, I once heard that Oscar Wilde was the first person to print it. Or something like that. Maybe it was O. Henry. I'm pretty sure there was an "O" in their name. Once again, I could use some help here. Is there one of those "citation needed" things in Uncyclopedia? Cause if there is one, or something along those lines, it would come in really handy.

People Who Don't Know

Question 1 What aspect-ratio is your monitor? 4:3 (regular): 38% (34439 votes) I don't know: 38% (34147 votes) 16:9 (Widescreen): 23% (21022 votes)

Question 2 What resolution is your monitor? I don't know: 42% (37304 votes) 1024x768: 21% (18753 votes) 800x600: 12% (10410 votes) 1280x1024: 7% (6314 votes) 1680x1050: 5% (4618 votes) 1280x800: 4% (3156 votes) 1152x864: 3% (2456 votes) Other: 3% (2314 votes) 1280x768: 2% (2052 votes) 1440x900: 1% (1229 votes) 1400x1050: 1% (1002 votes)

Question 3 How old is your computer? Between 1-2 years old: 28% (25067 votes) Less than 1 year old: 26% (22933 votes) Between 2-3 years old: 19% (16912 votes) More than 4 years old: 12% (10546 votes) Between 3-4 years old: 10% (8558 votes) I don't know: 6% (5592 votes)

Question 4 How fast is your computer? I don't know: 39% (35234 votes) Over 2Ghz: 22% (19729 votes) 1.1Ghz - 2Ghz: 19% (16631 votes) 501Mhz - 1Ghz: 14% (12353 votes) 500Mhz or less: 6% (5661 votes)

Question 5 How much memory does your computer have? I don't know: 32% (28654 votes) Over 2GB: 26% (23722 votes) 513MB - 1GB: 12% (10561 votes) 1.1GB - 2GB: 11% (9924 votes) 257MB - 512MB: 11% (9460 votes) 129MB - 256MB: 5% (4828 votes) 128MB or less: 3% (2459 votes)

Question 6 What type of internet connection do you use? Broadband: 71% (63241 votes) I don't know: 19% (16589 votes) Dial-up: 11% (9778 votes)

I mean, how can you not know if you have dial-up or broadband? They are either deaf, so they don't hear the fucking annoying sound when the broadband starts, or they are just fucking retarded. The funniest thing about this was the resolution of their monitor. Which can be found out just by three clicks. Fucking morons. And also you can't play with the screen at 800x600. If you can, please save the starving children in Africa, Superman. Shortly, RuneScape players do not know.

See Also

Ummm.... "I don't know" has officialy ruined more things than anything else in the history of the universe. For example, take the song "you're not the boss of me now!". It was originally intended to be the American motto (instead of "In God we trust"), but when it was sent to the American mint, some fool had the idea of putting in "I don't know" to the second line. His colleagues thought that this was a briliant idea and re-adjusted the whole motto to fit in "I don't know", so the motto became "Yes' no, I don't know. can you repeat the question? You're not the boss of me now! You're not the boss of me now!" instead of "you're not the boss of us now because we beat you!". the creators of malcom-on-the-middle then picked up this song, thought it was good and made it their theme-tune.

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The writer of this article has become hopelessly, helplessly stuck. If you can lend a hand, give it a push. Or, leave some advice on the talk page.
See other stuck articles in Category:Stuck articles needing a push.
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Now the interesting thing is, did I mean this, or am I simply putting it at the bottom to be an ironical comment on my subject matter?

Random Addition

I also, quite definately, undeniably, don't know. It is safe to say that there are few who don't know more than I don't know. In actual fact, I am here to state, in the spirit of goodwill and aid for the gentleman/woman/hound who asked for assistace, that I do not, in fact, know.

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