Furry

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“I am a furry, and I will destroy anyone in my path!! Rrrrrrraaaawwwwrrr!”
~ Werechu on what it's like to being a furry.
“Show me an actually straight or female furry and I'll show you what divide by zero equals”
~ Oscar Wilde on furry sexuality and gender
“I love all my children, even my furry ones. But I fucking hate featheries.”
~ Your mom on you and your siblings
“C'mon! What have these guys got that makes them TV worthy? They may dress up in costumes but we have our own language, for God's sake! We're a MUCH better subculture!”
~ Disgruntled Trekkie on that CSI episode with the furries
Fursuit

Hi! I'm a furry!

Furryism is a rare genetic mutation in which either a person comes to resemble an animal, believes they were once an animal, or thinks they are an animal-human hybrid. In the latter two cases cases, instances of dressing up to look more like their perceived animal or "fursuiting" have been observed, while in the first case, Fursuting is thought to have been observed mistakenly. Those afflicted with Furryism are called "Furries".

The furry "switch" in someone's DNA is triggered at childhood (although some teens may also be triggered). If a child comes in contact with a costume character or mascot, plays with a stuffed animal, or watches a movie or television show with talking animals like Thundercats, he or she will probably become a furry in their teenage years. There is no way to reverse it; hentai can prevent it, but may cause the afflicted child to become Wapanese or Weeaboo.

Furry demographics

I'm a female wolf furry and I think i'll edit this! :D Because of some narrow minded idiots, some believe that there are no male furries and that all females are lesbians. My conclusion to this is that they are simply jealouse that we have bigger boobs. :D

1135197598215

The browser cache of most 4chan regulars (a.k.a. "/b/-tards") is enough to send ten normal Internet users to Guantanamo Bay. Pic very related.

"It is alleged that considerable part of furries secretely visit 4Chan, where they spread vast amount of furry porn, while consuming it on Fridays - thus establishing a natural equilibrium." < Ok that's actully pretty accurate. xD

Furries and Procreation

Petatiger

Shi hides it so well...

Furries are able to do anything to anything, be it male, female, transgender, animal, stuffed animal, vegetable, tentacle, mineral, or non-existant. This magical sexual ability is called "yiffing" and they like to do it. A lot.

Thankfully, furries do reproduce sexually but see Yiffing as a form of greeting and rudimentary communication,this caus over populatoin and the sheer numbers of people infected with furryism through genetic mutations in young teens and a few Trekkies who became too cozy with Lt. M'Ress of the Animated series doesn't help things.

Furry genitalia follow a strict set of simple rules:


school teachers

“this bugs me my gym teacher might be a furry! no wait pleaz nooooo!”
~ unlucky high school student on my furry gym......

most if not all teachers are pedophiles teachers they spy on ther students for weaknes


A fursona (pl. fursonas), is a furspeech portmanteau of the terms furry and persona (or in the case of the alternative term furson, person) and refers to a character or identity assumed by a person or player normally associated with the furry fandom.

Many fursonas are based on 'typical' animal species, such as cats and wolves, but are often only limited by the imaginations of their player, and can include more extraordinary types of creatures such as aliens, angels, demons, vampires, and mythological creatures (a popular offshoot of mythological creatures is to have a hexapedal, taur-based fursona). Hybrid fursonas are also popular; furries who like characteristics of more than one animal will combine them into one creature, such as a cat/fox or wolf/raccoon cross. Some give these hybrids portmanteau names, such as "drynx" for a dragon/lynx, or "hedgefox" for a hedgehog/fox.

Fursonas are an integral part of the furry fandom; many people within the fandom have a fursona, and demand for artwork of these people's fursonas (along with conbadges, fursuits, and other commissions) is a driving force within the furry art market, providing a near-limitless array of characters for artists to draw, and likewise, providing an endless source of paraphernalia for more exuberant fans to demand, as possibilities are only limited by the offerings of artists and the wallet of the fan in question.

The Great Fur War

The Great Fur War, also known as World War -53, was a massive, but little known conflict that had a profound effect on Furry Fandom. Although it is a little known war, the few historians that know of it have debated its significance for years. While it did result in the destruction of the 1940s (see World War II), its outcome only affected furry and furry lovers. Thus, most people agree that this war should be ignored entirely like Global Warming and AIDS. To Read all about it go here.

Result of the war

-Side-effects may include-

Nazifur

some say that after a night of yiff with a fox furry Hitler killed him self.

  • It ended!
  • The 1940s were completely destroyed.
  • Racist feelings between allies of the Yiff and NSAMA.
  • Cub Porn
  • Neither side has disarmed!
  • Waffles?
  • You (you are furry bastard!)
  • Your Mom (your mom is a furry bastard!)
  • The NETcorp
  • And Hitler simply disappeared.

Sexuality and gender and their relation to a fursona, as per Fender's law

Dedicated furries devote considerable time to their animalistic smell ("yiff") as well as their costumes ("fursuits"). The inability of the skin to breath in fursuits often adds to the furry's distinctive yiff considerably, and certain furries (such as those who use a skunk fursona) may be very yiffy indeed. But be careful some have experimented with their own genetics causing the fur suit to become a part of their bodies (see starfox) and that yiff may just be their natural musk!.Sexuality and gender are usually relative to fursona, as per Fender's law
SonicAmy

the real stright females are this kind of crazy but thats not a bad thing just look out for handcufs.

"Female"
Herm - Dickgirl
Herm - Femboy
Male - Seme
Male - Uke
Male - Straight
Base infected status (all genders)
Foxes, rabbits, small cats, panthers, deer. Same as females, but with dragons and unicorns. Same as uke males. Dragons, wolves, dogs, horses, large cats. Small cats, rabbits, dragons. Wolves, dogs, large cats, dragons, foxes. Foxes, wolves.


Justification for being a furry


Feathery and Scaley

Discordianism, Oviposition and booze. Also cocaine. And Aynuth. And Absinthe. And anything else shootable/snortable. Featheries seem to be less infectious than furries, however, they are far more violent and dangerous.

The scaley (a late-stage furry infection leading to becoming reptilian) are less violent though more infectious. Many people have begun classing scaleys as a subclass of Furry instead of a separate infection due to the high infection rate and the fact that all scaleys also began as foxes. Scaleys tend to be very moody and often believe themselves to be ancient, powerful beings sent to guide humanity. Oh, the irony.

Furry History

Adam steve

Adam and Steve moments after tasting the forbidden fruit.

It is thought that Furryism has existed since the beginning of time as a disease originally caught from exposure to naughty cave-paintings.

The Egyptian Gods have long been considered furry and may have been ancient tribal elders millenia ago in the cradle of civilization. To this day furries are paying them homage in much art that it is uncertain if the gods pictured therein would approve of.

The Greeks and Romans had the goat-god, Pan (who we are sure approves of his furry art), and the many zany furry-esque antics of Zeus and the assorted half-beasts chronicled in intricate detail that many furry writers still envy and mimic to this day.

Further North, Macro furry got its start with tales of the Norse great wolf Fenrir and the World Serpent while Beowulf remains a great furry Tragedy to this day.

Born thousands of years later, Jesus himself may have been a furry as revealed by his nickname "the Lamb of God". However, research into the subject has declined in recent years due to an alleged omerta amongst former researchers, resulting in a number of related projects being laid to rest due to their subtle arts of murder and persuasion. It is possible that he was killed by drunken Romans who believed in error that they had found the world's largest sheep and were merely hungry for mutton.

Furries and employment

About 15% are unemployed and the other 30% get jobs doing anything with production (TV, movies, etc.) some get high paying jobs at tv networks, others work at places like animation studios like Nickelodeon, WB, Disney, and other places. the rest get normal civilian jobs like working at a gas station, an office worker, firefighter, cops, teachers, and so on

See also

Meow

An furry's dream: to be an actual anthro (WITHOUT THE SUIT!).

References



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