French Army

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{{Q|Halt! Stehenbleiben!|Germans|French Army}}
 
 
{{Q|French tanks are very advanced, they have 16 gears in reverse|General Patton|French Army}}
 
 
{{Q|RETREEEEEEEEAT!!|French Army|French Army}}
 
 
{{Q|Army?|[[Oscar Wilde]]|French army}}
 
 
{{Q|Heet heem weeeth zee baguette!!!|[[French Army]]|French Army}}
 
 
{{Q|Ahhhh emmm Fwench!!! I am enn ze 42nd nancy bois division and am trened en sefen forms of running awey!|French army}}
 
 
The '''French Army''' is [[france|french]], potentially an [[army]], although no-one has really seen them yet. They are very quick and well [[camouflage|camouflaged]].
 
 
==Innovations==
 
The French Army is one of the worlds leader in the security sector. They have invented the white flag as well as the escape-button, which found its way to modern computer keyboards, for convenience for gamers who admire French military tactics. Also they developed the most innovative 4-reverse-gear gearbox for [[tank|tanks]], which additionally has one forward gear in case the enemy comes from behind. The French Army has set new protective standards by introducing the now very popular bulletproof vest for the back.
 
The French also pioneered the fast-moving heavily-amoured retreat automobile; otherwise referred to as a stripped down, camouflaged Renault Scenic.
 
 
==The French Army==
 
[[Image:Tumbleweed01.gif]]
 
 
 
 
 
 
==International Importance==
 
Foreign nations often invite french troops for manoeuvres because of their effectivness in fighting frog and snail plagues in a very natural way with garlic sauce.
 
 
== Comradship ==
 
In [[France]] [[comradship]] is regarded as a very important attribute and is even a parts of national identity with its three maxims égalité, fromagité, oralcomradité. When soldiers in the front can not escape quickly enough, someone has to take care of the [[sex|sexual]] desires and needs of the [[widow|widows]]. The comrades who survived see [[widow]]-caretaking as a for the French sacred duty and always take this heavy burden in deep [[comradship]] and loving [[memory]] of the fallen upon them. They take it so seriously, that they also take care of the [[widow|widows]] of the enemies.
 
 
 
==Assault Force==
 
none
 
 
==Defence==
 
Thinking [[France]] was the only nation on the planet, the [[communism|French defense ministry]] build the [[Maginot Line]] of monstrous defensibility. However, in unsurprising lack of military-minded-ness, the French left a Belgium-sized hole in the defence. This is now easily bypassed by obese tourists, but that is part of the strategy. Particularly promising is the new escape tunnel under the English channel, whereby Dunkirk can be reenacted without Britain needing to sacrifice soldiers!
 
 
==Training And Excercise==
 
The French Army constantly excercises to maintain the level which was reached in the two street-fighting periods from 1666 to 1939 and 1945 to today. The time between 1939 and 1945 was the most peaceful in French history, as no French army was needed due to a better one being available. They are also extensively trained in the art of flag waving and pleading for mercy.
 
 
Although there are many jokes refering to the French army as cheese eating-surrender monkeys it is said that the French foriegn Legion is actually very effective and overall a good fighting force. Mainly because it consists of no frenchman what so ever.
 
 
==Equipment==
 
 
The standard issue French soldier possesses the following:
 
 
*Main weapon: Three-foot long baguette. Used for tempting the enemy, or in a pinch, battering roughly around the head and body (if stale).
 
:*Additional Equipment may include:
 
:::*[[Cigarettes]]
 
:::*[[French Women]]
 
:::*Extra [[Baguettes]]
 
:::*Cheese
 
:::*White Flag
 
:::*Cooked Snails
 
:::*A Spare White Flag
 
:::*An 18th century musket
 
:::*A Condom
 
:::*Running shoes
 
 
*Uniform: Francois-Marie-Napoléon IV 1834 'Charlemagne' Standard Uniform: this uniform can ONLY be recognized from the back, as the advancing army can't see the fleeing French from the front.
 
[[Image:Frenchinfantry.JPG]]
 
 
==See Also==
 
*[[My Mother]]
 
*[[France]]
 
*[[French Military]]
 
*[[french_military_victories|French military victories]]
 
*[[French Women]]
 
*[[Maginot Line]]
 
*[[Cheese]]
 
*[[frog|Frogs]]
 
*[[snail|Snails]]
 
*[[oral_sex|Oral Sex]]
 
*[[the shits]]
 
 
[[de:Französische Armee]]
 
[[category:france]]
 

Revision as of 01:16, February 5, 2009

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