Forum:You weren't there!

So I was driving down the M27 tonight, thinking about Oscar Wilde church, when an idea came to me. Since it's so quiet around here, why don't we pre-allocate jobs to all the main users? There are a lot of people who contribute regularly to Uncyc, even it's just to hang around Recent Changes or VFH, and we can put them all to good use. We can allocate Requested Articles, specific NRVs, a particular meme to exterminate, or an order to get rid of a certain amount of ugly templates. If you get given an article you have to write/rewrite, it will encourage the creative juices to flow, honest. Like when my girlfriend threatened to feed my DVD player toast unless I finished the washing up.

See, we all want the work to be done, and we'd all be happy to do it, because we have no lives love this place. But without a group effort we are loathe to do it ourselves, because nobody would notice our heroic efforts. But those that take part in the great allocation will have an award to put on their userpage, declaring them to be part of Uncyc's elite, or even be awarded an Honory Doctorate or something to put in their sig. Or an Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence. And best of all, when n00bs come and ask about the awards we can say: YOU DON'T KNOW NOTHING, MAN! YOU WEREN'T THERE!

So what do you reckon, you indolent swine? 21:36, 4 September 2006 (UTC)

Seems a bit businessmanlike for a free Uncyclopedia, all I know is that if you start assigning jobs I am first in line. Mr. Briggs Inc. 22:08, 4 September 2006 (UTC) Eh?

I say we grow new users by fertilizing the ovas of surgically-removed ovaries in artificial receptacles, and then incubate them in specially designed tubes. One Bokanovsky process and hundreds of embryos later, we divide them into UnCastes and use hypnopaedia to indoctriate them to the Uncyclopedian order ("Be funny and not just stupid... be funny and not just stupid..."). Just as Our Chron would have wanted. -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 22:27, 4 September 2006 (UTC)

I'm afraid hypnopedia was destroyed in the last Forest-Fire. On another point, what does "fertilizing" mean? Mr. Briggs Inc. 22:40, 4 September 2006 (UTC) Eh?

Ooh, I wouldn't try that, STM. For all you know, some EDæ could modify the hypnopaedia to "Be stupid and not just funny". One extraterrestrial race nearly became extinct because of that. And they only survived by... okay, I'm rambling now aren't I? ~ Ghelæ ^talk_contribs 17:44, 5 September 2006 (UTC)

FreeMorpheme For Admin

• AGAINST Because Morpheme is apparently a spammer seeing as how he can't stay on topic. Mr. Briggs Inc. 22:10, 4 September 2006 (UTC) Eh?
• Against Because he has a cooler signature than me. That bastard. My vote counts as 2,000 regular votes by the way. --Hotadmin4u69 ^[TALK] 02:28, 5 September 2006 (UTC)
• Against. Sent me marijuana, and charged my mastercard for it.--Wit (tawk) 05:52, 5 September 2006 (UTC)
  • Comment. A dealer that ships, and accepts credit cards? I'm sorry, but I fail to see the problem.  Sir Tooltroll, Esq. CUN • Eh? • Oh! • UnTunes! •• I my cat! 17:27, 5 September 2006 (UTC)
• For, and my vote counts as 2000 regular votes just to bring it even with emc. In fact, that's the only reason I'm voting "for". ~ Ghelæ ^talk_contribs 17:44, 5 September 2006 (UTC)

Not bad. --Hotadmin4u69 ^[TALK] 20:36, 5 September 2006 (UTC)

• Against. We already elected an admin. Just because you're a CUN, doesn't mean I'm going to Nominate you for that.--Jtaylor1 17:55, 5 September 2006 (UTC)