Ed, Edd n Eddy

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Ed, Edd n Eddy

Ed , Edd 'n Eddy

What it is Cartoon
Soap Opera
Creator Dan Aykroyd
Starring Matt Damon
Samuel L. Jackson
Tony Soprano
Who's running it Cartoon Network
How long is it 1 hour
No. of episodes I don't know. Do you?
Would Oscar Wilde watch it? Yes.

Ed, Edd n Eddy was a cartoon that aired on the Cartoon Network. It focused on the lives of 12 children during the summer of 1999, and took place in an unknown place. The main stars, who are all named Ed, tried to scam their peers for jawbreaker (Gobstopper for you Brits) money. The show initially ended it's run after four long seasons, but was renewed for two more after proving to be popular with hoboes.


The Ed Boys



Ed, performing live with his band, "Rectal Waste".

A "dumb-as-wood" child, with the same amount of hygiene as a typical anime cosplayer. A mutant colony is forming inside his head. He is really really strong, and I mean REALLY REALLY strong, probably the strongest person in the entire universe. He can lift houses and break through walls just like that, and has supposedly lifted Rosie O'Donnell. He also has the ability to summon an invisible demon named Jib. Ed is proven to be 100% stupid, and often encounters difficulty in completing common tasks such as buttering toast or breathing. His greatest achievement is getting himself dressed. He recently ran for president with Grim as his running mate, and inexplicably won. He also succeeded in winning re-election. [1]

Double D

A genius surrounded by total fucking idiots. He's like Macguyver and can build shit out of common household items. The hair is not what is under his hat, but a wig he started wearing to keep warm during the winter. If he were to inhale a certain amount of germs, it could kill him. He can calculate the distance from Earth to the Starship Voyager down to nanometers just like that.



Eddy with the Butthole Surfers.

Eddy is worse than every 12 year old you'd hear on Xbox Live. One time his whole family was on the hit TV show Family Feud but they lost because Eddy got the last question wrong, which was about "What are popular video game characters" and he answered "Sonic" but it wasn't on the list but Pikachu was. There were 4 answers, one was Mario, the other Luigi, the other Link, the other Pikachu. Eddy started taking acid after that and became a Butthole Surfer. He has damaged vocal chords from all of his yelling and screaming.

Those Other Buttknockers



Sarah, throwing one of her regular tantrums.

Typical little sister bitch. She is also part of a secret chimp foghorn race. She's really strong, but not as strong as her brother Ed, but she can still lift heavy objects like cars. To shut her up, you must rip her vocal chords out. Eddy ripped Sarah's mouth of once and she never spoke again.


The typical uber gay person in the neighborhood, who likes girly stuff and rides trycicles. In fact, one survey showed that most people who watch the show were confused as to whether he was a boy or just a girl whose parents were drunk when she was named. His favorite food is plums, because sometimes they look like moogle testicles. Once he met the Super Mario Bros. and ate a mushroom and became JIANT JIMMY where he crushed the City of Townsville. He gets beaten up by the sewing club, chess team, cheerleaders, and..well.. EVERYONE at school.



Rolf's horny goat rapes Jimmy.

Many have questioned where Rolf is from, but Uncyclopedia has the answer. Rolf was born in Dusseldorf and that is why they call him Rolf. He wants to bulldoze Kevin's house to build a restroom for his Nana. Once he was turned into a weiner. He also wrote the Top 40 Folk Hit, "That's My Horse", which stayed on the charts for 7 months, and was perfomed by The Beach Boys. Rolf however, was not credited for writing the song. Rolf can beat people up with fish.



Typical lonely loser, with a piece of wood as his best friend. Jonny once went back in time to the medieval period. Plank was drawn on by Crayola Crayons. The lost city of Atlantis lies inside his nose. Jonny once took all his clothes and ran around naked, like the damn, filthy hippy that he is.


Your all around stuck up, teenage, wannabe, Paris Hilton bitch. She was once on Oprah to lose weight. She is the head cheerleader at Peach Creek Junior High, although she got kicked off of the team when she refused to shave her hairy legs. For some reason, every guy that isn't gay in the neighborhood tries to get in bed with her.



Kevin, dressed up as a pretty lady.

A bully to others because his parents molest him, so he feels that it evens things out if he picks on Eddy. He bought his bike from the bike store "Bike Mania" but the clerk was a real dick cheese, so he stole the bike and then the police were after him and he was sent the juvie. There, he made friends with Jack, and they became best friends and decided to make a bowling team. This bowling team needed 2 more people so they got Billy from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, and Dexter from Dexter's Laboratory. They got high scores, but Dexter didn't do so well. Later, they all got a trophy and smiled for a picture, when the bowling alley collapsed on them. Kevin was sent to hell, but he was given a second chance. But when he was revived, he was hit by a large bowling bowl and got amnesia, so he couldnt remember what had happened. He has a secret collection of spandex bike shorts. He likes to take showers in the boys locker room so he can look at Rolf's weiner.


The feature length, live action film, released in 2009.

The Kanker Sisters

White trash bitches who are desperate enough to go for the Eds. They are bitches because they have three gay fathers. Because of this, they started to fall in love with any bitch they saw and soon ended up killing their fathers and gave their sex robes to the Ed's. This has led to the Kankers having an unusually large bush and no boobs. AND they are often used as plot devices in the show when the Eds are getting their way. The Kankers immediately come in and fuck everything up, including the Eds. Literally. It's a quick way to end the show if the writers can't figure out any other way to end it.

The Mime Trio

Ed, Edd n Eddy INSBL

The Mime Trio shown here on Drugs.

There are 3 brothers that are called the Mime Trio, named Vernon, Alex, and David. They like to do mime stuff, like pretend to be in an invisible box. Many people don't believe that they are in the show, but they are always offscreen, just like the adults in season 5. And you never hear from them because they're mimes, and everybody knows Mimes can't speak! So they're actually in every single episode, you just can't see them or hear them. They also love football.

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Ed, Edd n Eddy is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.


  1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvMCSWbmSvc
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