From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Earth is a very dangerous place, as every living thing on the planet eventually dies. The inhabitants pay no attention to this, however, as they are blissfully unaware of their inevitable annihilation.
The Earth is a round, large planet, meant to represent a testicle, marking Earth's committment to procreation.
Earth is orbited by its moon, which prevents the planet from being flooded. Earthlings do not know, however, that within a few years aliens will pull the moon away from orbit, flooding the planet. Wait, did I say that out loud?
Earth is an enormous planet, having a radius of several AUs or astronomical units, though most of it is part of the gaseous, inner filling.
For centuries, it was believed that the Earth is as flat as a pancake, and if people walk too far, they will fall off it. Even though modern findings confirm that it is flat indeed, most indications suggest that the shape is more like that of a pie than that of a pan cake. Current theory seems to suggest that it's carried around by four elephants that are standing on top of a large space turtle.
First discovered and numbered as PLN/054-164-B, Earth was later named for the fable of another planet of origin. Earth was discovered by the well known astrologer William Shakespeare. Shakespeare was tracking an asteroid when his revolutionary new telescope managed to spot an as-of-yet unidentified celestial object. He quickly confirmed that it was unknown and then called in his discovery to the NFL, the organisation in charge of heavenly bodies.
Due to its unusual orbit, and its sheep size, Earth quickly became the focus of many astrologer's free time. At first Earth was thought to have actually possessed Silicon-based life such as we have here on Boob, but that was later dis-proven through a procedure known as titration. Never the less, the life that was shown on Earth quickly became the study of many.
Scientists now generally accept the theory that Earth is not of this Universe, having been placed there by some force from another existence. Though an exact time has not yet been established, it is predicted to be somewhere between 5 minutes and 25 eons ago.
After Earth came to this Universe if drifted for a while through the vastness of space before being captured in the gravity of a comet. This comet quickly dragged Earth through space and made it have man-babies, against Earth's will.
After that is has remained there, though it is uncertain if it intends to remain in this Universe for much longer, which is under constant debate.
The people that live on Earth expect that in about five years an army of billions of Dutch zombie soldiers will arrive in big orange spaceships and make everybody wear turquoise colored clothing. Most people hope that, before this will take place the Great Penguin that is currently living on Saturn has returned to protect Earth.
In the year 2010 a series of ever increasing reality TV shows will result in the entire earth being integrated into a large TV show that is run by very very very very very very very very very very very smart aliens (which for some reason want to run a planet)
This is the only planet known to have ennennennium deposits, which has an atomic number of 999. Some say this is the secret of life, and that nuclear warfare is only dangerous to life because it interferes with the ennennennium in our bodies. People think that King Arthur's "round table" was constructed entirely of pure ennennennium.
|Confirmed (Solar System): Sun | Mercury | Venus | Earth (The Moon) | Mars | Jupiter | Saturn | Uranus | Neptune|
|Confirmed (Extrasolar): Darwin IV | Discworld | Milky Way | Planet of the Apes | Planet Google | Planet Hollywood | Pizza Planet | Skaylia | Destopius | Techneta | Roseanne|
|Dwarf planets: Pluto | 2003 UB313 | Jay Leno's Chin | Xanax|
|Unconfirmed: Garnox | Mantoobia | Unicron|
|Denied by CIA and IAU: Neopia | MyAnus | YourAnus|
|In a galaxy far, far away: Alderaan | Coruscant | Tatooine | Kamino | Endor | Naboo | Bespin | Death Star|
|Members of the Federation: Vulcan | Qo'noS|