Dwight Schultz

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Humble Origins

William Benedict Horatio Serendipity Bartholomew Dwight Schultz IX was conceived in the Umfuli Recreational Park just east of Harare, Zimbabwe, on or about the evening of February 17, 1947. His mother, an airline stewardess on extended layaway, had accepted a stranded traveller's invitation of (quote), "the best three minutes" of her life.

Months of careful planning resulted in Barty Schultz (as he was then called) being born in the then-Mecca of television and film entertainment of the United States: Agawam, Massachusetts. It was because of this pseudo-fortuitous circumstance that his mother bestowed him his most unusual middle name (Horatio) when he was ushered into the world (three minutes premature, but to standing applause) at 7:57 PM, on November 24th, 1947.

School Years

Young Barty demonstrated an early knack for comedic talent, spontaneously venting long monologues of insane invention, much to the perplexion of his peers. Alienated, he applied his prolific mind to the invention of a long series of invisible friends, though each eventually disappeared for various reasons ("My father got transferred to Newark", "Mom won't let me hang out with you anymore" etc.).

The true breaththrough moment occurred when he captured the much envied role of "Phil" in a school play adaptation of Desmond Morris's "The Naked Ape". Audiences were awed and dumbstruck both by his novel interpretation of the material, and ingenious use of indigenous moss in the design of his own costume (though several visits to a physician were required to eradicate a persistent fungal infection which followed).

A World Awaits

(to be added)

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