Booger King

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“This makes me pick my nose and eat it.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Booger King

Home of "The Whopper".

Booger King, an evil corporation hell bent on killing Ronald McDonald with boogers, is also one of the 6 main powers of the known universe. Founded in 0000 BS by The King, it was led by political monkeys after feeding The King with boogers (it was supposed to be burgers, but the recipe was messed up by accident with a Peachy Pink Crapola crayon, about 10 pixie stix, and a weirdly short little girl Named Ashtyn Hopkins. aka Lil Tyntyn Hopkins aka The Lil Cupcake Doominator). There has been evidence proven by The Legendary Jim From Accounting that there is a connection between Booger King and the lesser known, but responsible for 38.5u5986734omgitsagrue8957u58975hdhjeejrnbfjshit% of the world's diarrhea, Taco Hell. There has been some controversy lately as to which came first, as Oprah Winfrey claims she can remember binging on that grueshit since Jesus Christ was declared "The Shiznit". Which we all know must have somewhere between the beginning of time, and the first appearance of the Grue, (7.9458u4257457295067 seconds after the beginning of time,) because shortly afterwards, Mel Gibson bought the rights to the title of Jesus Christ.


It began in 0000 BS, or the mythical year. That was the year when The King bursted out of an alien's colon, and didn't realise he was allergic to colons. Therefore, his nose was clogged up with boogers. Once opening Burger King, he was going to rule over, until some monkey ordered a "booger". (He actually said burger, but the King lost his hearing aid.) After he saw boogers all over the bun, he shoved it down The King's throat. Still suffering from the alien allergy, he choked on boogers. The monkey, soon realising the power of boogers, took over the food chain and re-named it Booger King. Nothing important has changed much over the time, exept for Booger King's global domination of Uranus. Note- As confirmed by the prophecy, The King's only adversary remains to be Colin Powell, who is holding him under horrifying conditions, forced burn in emo hell, with all those goths, trapped in the bottomless abyss of Limited Too.


When you order things from Booger King, the cashier person asks, "would you like flies with that?" Flies taste nice with booger on buns and flies are attracted to the fragrance of 300 day old boogers, which is why they all flock around Britney Spears' estranged infants. See "Grues".


Booger King has a menu considered to be of the best types of boogers all known to Man and a few known to worms. This is just an example of the food on the menu there:

  • Hambooger
  • Cheesebooger
  • Booger fries
  • Ass Boogers
  • Snotsicle
  • Jewshit
  • The Possum Burger, also known as the Trailor Trash Roadkill Prostitute Made Cause They Din Get No Love Frum They Man Burger, also called the K-fed and Britney's Engagement Ring
  • And, The Grue Burger, which, incidentally nobody has ever eaten, because said Grues jumped out and popped a cap in their asses.


Booger King employees closely resemble the work ethics and habits of Walmart employees, except that their spirits arent completely crushed, so they are happy and take pride whilst spitting in your food. As it stands, The Booger King motto remains to have withstood the test of time, becoming a proverbial classic for many people alike, except little children, because it made their heads asplode. The motto stands as such: "Booger King's boogers come from only the finest selection of grade A trailor trash, including Hannah Montana. Our boogers come from gourmet heads, and we don't serve roadkill till its dead. Unless you were fucking crazy enough to order the Grue Burger, then we just try our best to throw a meat hammer at it, slam it in between two buns, chuck it at you, then run like shit."

This Concludes the highly eductional Booger King Overview!

-The Weirdly Short Little Girl

P.S. Got any more shit to cram this article with??? Contact Me! ~Ashtyn~

See also

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