127.0.0.1

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“There's no place like 127.0.0.1”
~ Oscar Wilde on 127.0.0.1

“There's no place like Oscar Wilde, either.”
~ 127.0.0.1 on Oscar Wilde
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For those blokes who spread their false preachings to the world, or if you just plain don't get it, Wikipedia has an article on: 127.0.0.1.


127.0.0.1 is the IP address from which Uncyclopedia receives the largest amount of spam. The user at 127.0.0.1 is an incredible moron, who delights in defacing wiki pages. His posts are the most asinine, worthless posts ever seen in modern wikis. If you run across anything from the address 127.0.0.1 delete it immediately. The massive zombie-network of 127.0.0.1 is thought to contain the world's largest collection of porn; although it is not made public, many have succeeded in retrieving it by .

Pingself

OH MY GOODNESS! HE ALREADY HAS YOU!

This user is perhaps the most hideous, disformed creature to ever walk the earth. Oft hinted at in mythology, nobody has ever lived after seeing it. The few who caught glimpses and lived instantly became insane, and their ramblings are all that we have to base our descriptions on.

Lately, the group of craftsmen known as Metallica released a ballad entitled "Sad But True", where they encoded the true identity of 127.0.0.1. However, the members all perished in a fatal traffic accident involving a turtle. (The turtle has been executed.)

The number 127.0.0.1 put backwards has also been hinted at having coonections with the nether worlds. Yes, worlds, not regions. Ahem! When inscribing 1.0.0.127 on a Septagram (7 points!) and chanting "Cock-a-doddle-doo!", the invoker can in call such creatures as the dreaded Sobig from the nether worlds (although some connection of this demon to the nether regions has been suspected for a long time.

Any user who willingly uses 127.0.0.1 willingly as his address, is, obviously, quite mad. Not only hideious and deformed but also perverted beyond words, and reason.

Detecting a 127.0.0.1 infection

This individual has hijacked (pronounced: "snooker") tens of thousands of computers, and uses high-tech 110 baud connections to hyperlink them together. His l33t haxx0r sk1llz are so subtle that almost no antivirus or firewall software picks them up. To see if you are a victim, you can ping this user. If the ping to 127.0.0.1 is almost instant, then this user has a symbiotic connection to your PC.

You have been warned. Always read the label warnings!

Windows

Find the "run" button, type in "command" and hit enter. If a black box pops up, you most likely have had your computer taken over by this individual. To confirm this, in the box, type:

 ping 127.0.0.1

— to check if this person has an active connection to your PC. On the output, pay particular attention to the timestamp. If the time is very small, such as 0.0 ms, you're in trouble, because that means he's RIGHT NEAR YOU. Pressing Ctrl-C will stop the ping command. 127.0.0.1's influence is so great that this affects some PCs not even connected to the internet!

If you've been infected, you should get immediate help, otherwise you may get Banned from the Internet.

Linux

On Linux, you are probably screwed anyway, due to the massive security problems with this operating system. One of the tricks of this individual is to remove all security from linux systems. Since your OS doesn't have a GUI, just type

 whereis security 

If nothing is listed, your security has been stolen. To check the rest of your files, log in as root and type in the following:

 init 6

If the rest of your computer is fine, you should see it list your files. If your computer has been compromised, an error will be shown. If your computer is currently being used to send horse-porn to Asia, it may automatically shut down.

Macintosh

Fortunately, there are no scalable vector-graphical icon pictures of 127.0.0.1, so you are completely safe.

See also

Fries Quasi-Featured Article (21 August 2014)
This article was nominated to become a featured article; however, due to several votes being devoured by a Goblinoid, it didn't make the cut ({{{2}}}). Don't let this happen again! For just pennies a day, you can prevent another travesty of this nature, or vote for other articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
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