Russian reversal

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Hammer and sickle
In Soviet Russia, sickle hammers YOU!!

“In Soviet Russia, Russian reverses YOU!!
~ Oscar Wilde on Russian Reversal

The Russian Reversal is a debating and argumentative tactic developed by the USSR during the twentieth century. A tool described as being able to end and subsequently win any discussion, its original intent was to stupefy capitalist dogs by inverting the sentence and introducing a new prepositional phrase, thus obfuscating the topic and allowing the debater to take control and bury his opponent. Its execution is as simple as it is lethal: the subject and direct object of the sentence in question are reversed, the sentence is preceded with "in Soviet Russia" and all sentences are shifted into the second person.

This is because Soviet Russia is a wondrous land of complete automation and bizarre reversal of ordinary American events and situations. Imagine your wonder when, upon calling a taxi, you discover that here in Soviet Russia, taxi calls YOU!!

The original technique was introduced by Politburo hack and Minister of Propaganda Yakov Smirnoff soon after he infiltrated America! What a country! from Ukraine during the Cold War.

Soviet party
In Soviet Russia, party finds YOU!!
 "In America, you can always find a party."

became

 "In Soviet Russia, Party finds YOU!!"

and the rest is history.

Bouncywikilogo
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called-experts at Wikipedia have an article about Russian Reversal that you can read.
In Soviet Russia, Wikipedia reads YOU!!


Essence of the Russian Reversal

The Russian Reversal, in its purest form, is based on the dualistic theorem that:

  • America is both good and free
  • Soviet Russia is both bad and oppressive.

Ergo, they are opposites. If something is good in America (as all things in America are), that very same thing is bad in Soviet Russia (ditto).

In Soviet Russia, rule remembers YOU!!

SignReadsYOU
In Soviet Russia, funny caption writes YOU!!

The Russian Reversal was originally developed by stereotypical Soviet Russians, meaning it included:

  • Bad Grammar
  • Incorrect Verb Usage
  • Always had "YOU!!" at the end.
  • Sentence order is generally accepted as "Noun, transitive verb, YOU!!"
    • Or, if you failed English - "You X Y" becomes "Y Xs YOU!!"
  • Avoid using the words "the", "a", or any other article, as Russians have not used them since 1746. Do not say "In Soviet Russia, the cars drive YOU!!" but say instead, "In Soviet Russia, car drives YOU!!"
  • In general, all plural words should be changed into the singular form. In the previous example, "cars" became "car." This is vital, as the impact of the sentence is lost if multiple things are whatever-ing YOU!!
  • Try and avoid the words "is" and "are", such as: "In Soviet Russia, dumb is YOU!!". This just sounds stupid.
  • Do not end the sentence with any word other than YOU!!*
    • Always print the word "YOU" in ALLCAPS and then finish the sentence with no more and no less than two exclamation points, and italicise those even if the rest of the sentence isn't.
    • For example: "In America you follow the rules; in Soviet Russia, rule follows YOU!!"

*Nowadays, it is becoming more accepted that Russian Reversalisms don't have to end with "YOU!!" Example: "In Soviet Russia, car fixes AAA-Team!!". However, in most places, the classic reversal is still the only method of reversal permitted by law.

In Soviet Russia, more tip reads YOU!!

  • Avoid using on, in, at, to etc., as it is less Russian-ish-esque.
  • Keep it simple.
  • Only use three words. (In Soviet Russia, above ignores YOU!!)
  • If necessary watch the Night Court episodes with Yakov Smirnoff as Yakov Korolenko. Yes, Uncyclopedia knows it will hurt, but it could be worse -- in Soviet Russia, Yakov watches YOU!!

In Soviet Russia, exception makes YOU!!

  • In general, the situation in Soviet Russia is the reverse of that in the West, with a few notable exceptions. For instance, under capitalism people oppress people, while under communism it's the other way around.
  • In America, the people are free to go to Washington and tell everyone that the president of the USA is a blundering idiot. In Russia, the people are free to go to Red Square in Moscow and tell everyone that the president of the USA is a blundering idiot. Russia is just like America!
  • In Russia, the dollar is more widely accepted and more valuable than the ruble. In America, the dollar is more widely accepted and more valuable than the ruble. In this respect, America is just like Russia!
  • In Russia, most prostitutes are Russian, but in America, most prostitutes are Russian. America is just like Russia!

In Soviet Russia, even more tip reads YOU!!

  • Read the above tips, read all the examples, and notice how some, while true, fail to follow the rules.
  • Above all, be inconsistent -- this isn't Wikipedia after all. (Wikipedians are famous for their consistency, something like a meringue.)

In Soviet Russia, Official List of all Known Russian Reversals reads YOU!!

Paper Stalin
In Soviet Russia, jump triples YOU!!

In order to help Capitalists / anti-Communists prepare for their debates, this Official List of All Known Russian Reversals is brought to YOU!!

In Soviet Russia, reversal writes YOU!!

  • "We had to shoot mad cows in the Undead Kingdom." becomes "In Soviet Russia, mad cow shoots YOU!!"
  • "In America, you have scarecrows." becomes "In Soviet Russia, crow scares YOU!!"
  • "In Mozilla, you keep tabs in browser." becomes "In Soviet Russia, browser keep tabs on YOU!!"
  • "*In America you watch Big Brother." becomes "In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watches YOU!!

In Communist China, reversal writes YOU!!

  • In America, you look at your computer monitor; in Communist China, computer monitors YOU!!
  • In America, you Google Tiananmen Square; in Communist China, Tiananmen Square Googles YOU!!
  • In America, you abort baby; in Soviet Russia, baby aborts YOU!!
  • Chinese version: In America, you get an abortion; in Communist China, abortion gets YOU!!

In Soviet Russia, reversal reads YOU!!

In America, before editing this page, you read the instructions. In Soviet Russia instruction reads YOU!!!
This PSA brought to you by the People United Against Crappy Russian Reversals

JapaneseToiletBidet
In Soviet Russia, toilet urinates on YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, bitch slaps YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, car drives YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, monkey spanks YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, toilet flushes YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, pet neuters YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, road forks YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, fish catches YOU!
  • In Soviet Russia, radio listens to YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, cold catches YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, cow tips YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, sentence finishes YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, bong hits YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, minority persecutes YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, bucket kicks YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, TV watches YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, steak grills YOU!!!
YogurtEatsYou
In Soviet Georgia, Yoghurt Eats YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, CD burns YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, bar walks into YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, Wikipedia vandalizes YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, whale watches YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, ass kicks YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, n00b pwns j00!!!
  • In Soviet Russia, bag punches YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, flag burns YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, kitten huffs YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, mouse traps YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, remote controls YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, scissors cuts YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, movie pirates YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, day seizes YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, machine operates YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, cigarette smokes YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, plug pulls YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, dart blows YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, hamburger eats YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, hair cuts YOU!
  • In Soviet Russia, tree chops down YOU!
  • In Soviet Russia, bank robs you!
  • In Soviet Russia, deer hunts YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, floor mops YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, picture hangs YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, joke ruins YOU!!
  • In Soviet Russia, roulette turns YOU!!

In Soviet Russia, shirt wears YOU!!

Predictably, T-Shirts have already been made with these messages.

  • In Soviet Russia, t-shirt reads YOU!!
   Roses are Red 
   Violets are Blue 
   In Soviet Russia
   Poem writes YOU!!

In Soviet Russia, Quote Reads YOU!!

Chickenbox2.0
In Soviet Russia, Chicken boxes YOU!!
“In Soviet Russia, constantly ignore instructions and post crappy Russian Reversals that are somehow worse than all the ones already on the page which in some cases is quite an achievement and makes me SO ANGRY... umm... YOU!!
~ Talk:Russian reversal on Most people editing this page

“In Soviet Russia, Wilde Oscars YOU!!
~ Oscar Wilde on Russian Reversal

“In Zombie Russia, brain eats YOU!!
~ Russian reversal on Zombie
“In Doggie Russia, car chases YOU!!
“In Soviet Russia, fool pities YOU!!
~ Russian reversal on Mr. T
“In Soviet Russia, this can't touch YOU!!
~ Russian reversal on MC Hammer
“In Soviet Russia fox fires YOU!!
~ Russian reversal on Firefox
“In Soviet Russia, Google searches YOU!!
~ Russian reversal on Google
“In Soviet Russia, quote quotes YOU!!
~ Russian reversal on Quoting
“1|\| 50\/137 rU5514, 1337 7yp35 j00!!
~ Russian reversal on Leet
“In Soviet Russia, clown punches YOU!!
~ Russian reversal on masturbation
“In Soviet Russia, article writes YOU!!
~ Russian reversal on Wikipedia
“In Soviet Russia, battleship sinks YOU!!
~ Russian reversal on Battleships™

Subject: Russian reversal on Strong Bad

In Soviet Russia, Strong Bad emails YOU!!



“In Communist Cuba, we eliminate hunger. In Soviet Russia, hunger eliminates YOU!!'”
~ Fidel Castro on politics

In Soviet Russia, IRC reads YOU!!

Monster Twinkie
In Soviet Russia, Twinkie eats YOU! (And, apparently, have huge eyes and funny communist hats.)

An IRC transcript from communists on the Freeload IRC network...watch closely...

16:26:26 < spb> in soviet russia, comedy is king of spb
16:26:30 < spb> had to be said
16:26:48 < spb> Alex: your turn
16:26:58 < Alex> in soviet russia said had to be
16:27:01 < MinceR> In Soviet Russia, king is spb of comedy!!
16:28:05 < MinceR> In Soviet Russia, Yoda like YOU speaks!!
16:28:26 < kash> why make fun of me must you?
16:28:43 < Astinus> <Yoda> troubling, this decision is. made, it must be.
16:29:18 < MinceR> In Soviet Russia, this decision is troubling.
13:65:32 <Lewis> In Soviet Russia, Paintings Paint You!!.
16:29:42 < kash> ...
16:29:50 < Astinus> In Soviet Freenode, klines take care of YOU!!
16:29:51 < spb> no, that happens here too
16:30:08 < kash> ok, enough.
16:30:09 < kash> :(

As sees you, used Russian Reversal is very much so online still by IRC geek.

In Soviet Russia, also sees YOU!!

Template:QuotesPages


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