User:Lollipop/UnBooks:The Oldest Man Ever: A 132 year autobiography/Page 2

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{{FFW|21:01, July 24, 2011 (UTC)}}
 
 
{{Title|Chapter One: My Early Life}}
 
{{Title|Chapter One: My Early Life}}
 
I was born 132 years ago on March 28, 1878. I have seen wars happen, people live and die, and once a hobo eat a polecat from a chimney. But that's another story.
 
I was born 132 years ago on March 28, 1878. I have seen wars happen, people live and die, and once a hobo eat a polecat from a chimney. But that's another story.

Latest revision as of 21:32, August 13, 2011

I was born 132 years ago on March 28, 1878. I have seen wars happen, people live and die, and once a hobo eat a polecat from a chimney. But that's another story.

I have seen many things, and as the oldest man alive, and the only remaining American World War I vet, I share my story.

edit Birth

I was born as Herbert Charles Francis Eloise Harding III on March 28, 1878 (I already have said the date). My mother was named Frita Thompson (September 30, 1850 - January 14, 1938). Ma was a housemaid. She used to take care of me and my 14 brothers and sisters. She was able to spank all of us at one time. She later left the family to join a circus and was briefly known as "The Woman Wrestler", before meeting Elzie Segar and she became the model for Olive Oyl. She came back to Mississippi, but died five years later of polio. Damn the polio! I...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....

ZZZZZ...Huh? Oh yeah, my father. Bradford George Herbert Theodore Harding (June 8, 1843 - June 15, 1945) was his name. He was a rich man. He owned two slaves. That's like having two iPods or whatchamacallits or whodunits or whatever silly junk they have nowadays. He lived until 102, he saw World War II end. He was a racist also.

edit My Brothers and Sisters

My brothers and sisters were as follows:

  • Weswick "Wes" Harding (my half brother) (1863 – 1956)
  • Daffodil Harding (1869 – 1958)
  • Scott Harding (1871 – 1918)
  • Lewis Harding (1872 – 1935)
  • Lionel Harding (1875 – 1943)
  • Robert Harding[1] (1877–1960)
  • Charles "Chuck" Harding (1880 – 1952)
  • Reginald "Reggie" Harding (1882 – 1967)
  • Rodney "Roddie" Harding (1882 – 1968)
  • Sandra Harding (1884 – 1980)
  • Frita Harding Jr. (1886 – 1985)
  • Samuel Harding (1890 – 1972)
  • Thomas Harding (1894 –)
  • Greta Harding (1896 – 2002)

The only survivors are me and little Tommy.

edit Footnotes

  1. Robert was in fact the first cross dresser of all time. He was booted out of the family for that. That's what happened when you had an odd family member.
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