Internet Explorer

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Revision as of 02:16, August 13, 2011

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Wikisplode
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Internet Explorer.
Whoops! Maybe you were looking for spyware?

Clippy

It looks like you're interesting in bullshit. If you need help ask the specialist
This article is best viewed with Mozilla Firefox, Opera, Safari, Google Chrome and Mozilla Firefox a carrier pigeon.

Internet Explorer (or Idiot Exploiter) is a spyware and adware deployment tool developed by Micro$oft, under the guise of being a program for downloading Firefox. Microsoft needed a tool that can be used to keep an eye on windows users. Keeping this need in mind, the spyware, given the name of an internet browser named Internet Explorer was created. It can be used to visit torrent and pornographic websites, but often with unexpected results such as accidentally sending credit card information and bank account logins to some person located in Russia or Nigeria.

Loading

loading

Loading... Please Wait

Loading, Please Wait or hit any key (or your head against the wall)

FATAL ERROR

PRESS REBOOT YOUR COMPUTER AND ========> Internet Explorer note for Chrome

Loading... Are you still here?

Loading... Y'know this isn't actually a browser is just some random program that prints "Loading..." A whole lot of times

==Internet Explorer is Not Responding== ==Internet Explorer has encountered a fatal error and needs to close. We apologize for the inconvenience==

The piece of shit you are using has encountered problems and must close. We are proud of this inconvenience.

When did people stop using this diarrhea again?early 21st century?1990s?

Try Mozilla Firefox, which is better than this piece of shit, actually anything's better than this piece of shit.

Seriously you could get a browser no ones heard of that's loaded with spyware and is only on some torrent site no ones ever heard of and it'll still be better than this

internet explorer is the best browser in the world and has no spyware unless you dislike it like everyone who isn't a retard who are communists

You are all stupid: the thing works fine if the television in the living room is turned off

And it works perfectly alright when the computer is turned off

You can try Idiot Exploiter Internet Explorer for free on the Microsoft website. Have a go and see why it is much better than breathing.

A common name for Internet Explorer is Internet Destroyer, or Internet Exploder. Microsoft officials typicals hire thugs to murder anyone who uses this term in public.

Error message - IE8

Internet Explorer 8


Banner ads freetickets


Firefox Logo Those using Firefox's services may make her more Uncyclopedia friendly if they like.
Ie7preview

Microsoft's ad campaign for IE7.

Iedisgust

The average Internet Explorer™ Browsing Experience®


Banner ads freetickets


Dial-up 2

Typical routine for dial-up users.


History

Internet exploder continued to become shittier and shittier, with more and more spyware every second. Anyway, here is version 1.0, that could only be run in MS-DOS:

Dosgoogle

Power of Internet Explorer (PIE)

PopupBlocked

Windows Internet Explorer Genuine Pop-Up Blocker Basic.

Internet Explorer is one (1) of the most powerful browsers for the Internet. One of the most frequent targets of criticism of the browser is this power: it takes longer to load pages and lay them out, due to the unmatched excellence of its Trident rendering engine. The system first decides to take a piss on the screen, than steadily commences to shit all over the page. This compares to Mao Tsilla and Firefox's Gecko rendering engine, which happily scatters elements, boxes and images across the page, then turns homosexual and gets pregnant with the user. As an homage to its roots in Spyglass, IE also supports instant installation of spyware without any user intervention, whereas Firefox makes it an unnecessarily complicated process, requiring clicking at least one "OK" box. Most web developers, however, agree that Internet Explorer's greatest power comes from being able to suck infinitely more than any other browser on the market.


How to crash Internet Explorer

Simply add the following code to any webpage that allows script:
<script>for (x in document.write) { document.write(x);}</script>
or while at a webpage, enter this into the address bar:
javascript:for (x in document.write) { document.write(x);}
Here's the ultimate Internet Explorer destroyer:
crashie.freehostia.com/crashie.php

Windows Internet Explorer 8

File:IE7 popup test.png
Released Last Thursday, IE8 is Microsoft's latest parody, which is basically just like the ones before it except it encourages you to upgrade to Windows 7 to use all the features that it copied from Firefox.

In truth however, like all Internet browsers, it is based upon the 1600s Medieval French computer program, Flambé de Raynard. Flambé de Raynard was originally designed solely for downloading porn and product activation cracks.

Innovations

Internet Explorer

An advertisement for Internet Explorer's Inline Search Add-on. Despite being in development for over five years, hackers at the Mozilla Foundation pirated it without respect to intellectual property rights and integrated it into their browser.

Sadly, like many Microsoft innovations, Internet Explorer's features are regularly stolen and illegally copied by better browsers, most notably Opera

Copyright violations and piracy allegations

The Mozilla Foundation and the Digital Rights Management Group filed a joint lawsuit against Microsoft, alleging that it copied Mozilla Firefox and, after adding code that automatically crashes Windows Explorer after an hour of use and requires that Web pages take longer than five seconds to load, re-branded it Windows Explorer. Security loopholes were also installed at the request of www.doubleclick.net. A month after the filing, Microsoft moved its headquarters to Thailand where violating copyright laws[1] is legal.

Microsoft Vision

MS site IE7 FF 2

Internet Explorer 7's rendering of Microsoft's website (left) compared to Firefox's rendering (right).

Predating the Internet itself, Microsoft Internet Explorer is a profoundly interesting open-source Web browser developed by Bob. Unlike other browsers such as Opera and Mozilla Firefox, Internet Explorer focuses on being secure, modern, and standards-compliant. Microsoft Internet Explorer, or later in this article, Internet Explorer, should not be confused with Firefox Internet Explorer, a closed source browser created by the Firefox Communications Corporation.

Furthermore, Internet Explorer was written entirely in BASIC, and follows the primary rule of BASIC design. If a programming language or program cannot be fast, useful, efficient, or stable, at least it should be smelly. As noted in the screen-shot, Internet Explorer gives even the Japanese a run for their money. While Internet Explorer's designers claim that the program follows the Prime Directive, skeptics say that history has been altered numerous times by this megalithic, all-encompassing software.

797px-Spyware infestation

The relatively simple interface of Internet Explorer.

Internet Explorer was the first Web browser to implement such features as tabbed browsing, pop-up blocking, and free complimentary spyware. It is extremely stable and is entirely bug-less. Using advanced predictive fractal algorithms it can predict the winning lottery numbers, making it the most useful browser on the planet. It can also tell the time, and feed puréed broccoli to your unborn children. If you have no unborn children, Internet Explorer will impregnate you.

IE is known around the world as the most 1337 browser on the planet. Having absolutely no holes in its programming, the internet is chock full of Clinjas willing to help Bob make the browser even more 1337. But no one is fool enough to use it.

Many consider the ActiveX component of the browser to be the finest piece of software ever written. It is rumoured the ActiveX code was written by Jesus himself as it works so damn well. ActiveX, which is believed to be a typo of ActiveSEX, is a fantastic tool that, when activated, increases your ability to view porn by up to 1000%. It is said if you leave ActiveX on for just 10 minutes, you'll have whored half the Internet's bandwidth and will end up with enough porn to last you an eternity.

Firefox's closed-source nature lends to excessive amounts of exploits and security holes being discovered and utilised, contrary to the open-source Internet Explorer.

And Opera just sucks in comparison to Internet Explorer.


The second most popular browser is Saddam Hussein's Spyglass Mosaic, used by approximately 33% of the world's Internet users and capuchin monkeys.

UncyclopediaFunnyIE

A typical error message from the Supreme office of Bill Gates

Future of Internet Explorer

Internet Explorer 8

Internet Explorer 9.

According to Microsoft, Internet Explorer 9 will remove all unnecessary functions like My Favorites, stop button, previous/next buttons, and even the scrollbar. The only things left are the address bar, tab bar and the frame.

Internet Explorer 9 will support DirectX applets, InDirectY applets, Jarfa applets and Vlaesh animations.

but let's give 'em a chance

Seriously.

Internet explorer is the best.

Or mabye it isn't

But it's opinion.

Or onion.

But let's give 'em a chance, shall we?

C'mon.

IE 10 should be ok.

Related Articles

Wiiman

Internet Explorer for kids.

Links


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