“ 25% fun,75% malaria”
“ I could see the AIDs in the water!”
Camp Refugee(Kamp Ref-U-Gee,not to be confused with Camp Refuge or refugee camp) was founded in 2005 by the United Nations and ever since then campers have been happy playing games and activities created by us.We got several awards like The Geneva Convention for most inhumane place ever just behind Quantamino Bay and Hell by God.Joining Camp refuge is a commitment and a once-in-a-lifetime expience in fact it will be the last thing you will ever do.Come join us for all this fun!
There many camp activities ranging from circumzisions to contracting AIDs.Heres a full list below.
- Build-a-AK - this is the best activity as you get to strip down an AK and rebuild it in 5 seconds.How fun is that!Winners get a AIDS vaccine,Losers get executed.
- Relay races thru lakes full of pirannahs and landmines! - Is your little camper competitive? Well if he is then send him down to Camp Refuge to race thru 200 kilometers of malaria-filled water,pirannhas,and touch-activated land mines! How fun is that!Winners get a good job sticker and losers get there left hand-chopped off.(Note:that only boys can play this one,As we need to decrease africa's population for health and economic reasons.)
- Who can run faster from a cheetah in 179 degrees thru the Saharah - Just like the top run this requires strength and teamwork as 4 teams of campers are put on teams wearing beef on thier backs while trying to run away from cheetahs in 179 degrees thru the Saharah.How fun is that!
- Circumzise - This is for boyz only as it requries skill,presicion, and Penis.Boy must race against time to see who can get the outer layer of skin around there penis.First one to bleed is disqualified.
- Hunter - This one is for your littlehunter as the camper is put on either HUNTER or GAME.Hunters have guns with real bullets,Gps,and survival kits,GAME have bright yellow close that never get stained, no gps,and if they get hurt,Who cares!Winners get to eat the other team for Dinner.Who do you think is going to win?
- Scavenger hunt - this is a rather simple game as all participants are given fast actingAids or HIV and must find the vaccine before time runs out.
- Hot grenade - Just like the original game of Hot potatoe,But this is with 10 people and a grenade that is time for 10 seconds before blowing up and killing all ten players.How fun is that!
- Wild animals -You might of guess by the the name wrong.The gam e is Just like Hunter except that the arena is a cage full of hungry lions and Michael Moore.The key to the game is to find the key to open the door to the cage and get out alive.How fun is that!
- Movie night - here at Camp Refugee after we are the done playing fun activities we relax and watch fun movies such as: xXx hardcore Porn xXx,Syfy original movies,or Christmas movies with Will Feral.If you don't find this movies suitable for your child Go fuck yourself.
more coming soon...
How to Join
Your reading all of this and you say " WoW all this is super fun,I want to play in malaria filled water!".First you must contact us thru or hotline 555-555-5555 or JoinCampRefugeeordie.com.Next wait 20 years for our brochure to come.Then get a 100 thousand dollar plane to come to Camp refugee or a disease-ridden boat,lastly buy a jackass(not a donkey) to ride you all the way to Camp Refugee!have fun!!!And while your doing that yuo must rhymn everything you say and form it into a song.
Camp Refugees staff are highly-trained
at raping and molesting innocent children,then buring thre body in the great rift vally and prepared for emergencies that involve Godzilla or batman.And remember our staff are not responsible if your child(s) are raped,molested,killed,eaten by a lion,eaten by cheetah,killied in activities,sent to war,dying from AIDs,dying from HIV,dying from malaria,and burnt alive its your fault that you decided to let them come to an extremely deadly fun place!
Are staff are divided into three groups.Councilers,Good ActivitY teachers,and captains.
Councilers - The role of the councilers is to persuade the campers to give us the documents to feel safe here.
- Freddy Krueger - is a very responsible counciler as he enters the dreams of sorrowful campers and
kills themfinds there fear or bad memory.And literally kills it.he loved by all the campers
- Michael Myers - Is a very friendly individual and is very helpful.He is always there for the campers.
Like if they need help setting the nerds on fire
Gay teachers - There name stands for Great ActivitY teacher.And are supposed to be the coaches and Role Models.
- Michael Jackson - He is very helful to all students and never missing a day of work.He is there for all campers,especially if they are little boys!Michael Jackson started his own club on are grounds called The Come stay with me in dark Closet with tape around your mouth and your hands cuffed while your pants are down.Ages 6 - 14.(Note:I am talking about the white MJ,not the black MJ becuase the black MJ was cool)
- Dick Cheney- is the strong character here and a possible role-model for all campers.
prisoner camper told him "Dick I want to be you when I grow-up"Dick Cheney replied "When is that?"
Captains - They lead our campers to holieness.
- Captain Crunch - is a well loved captain who is a former Navy-Officer and even a Pirate-Ninja.He tells stories to all the campers about how he cut open a guys neck with a toothpick or like the time he
raped a small little girl in the ass for just looking at him.helped save to lost sailors in the Alantic.
- Captain Obvious - He is the most loved and full of character person.Obviously.
- Captain America - loves all the campers except the Arabian,japanese,German especially,and anyone else who doens't like guns,hotdogs,baseball, or stupid sitcoms.
hers a list of other staff
- Jizzy Jim - Works here most of the time.For some odd reason his pants and hands contain some white liquid.Job - Security.
- Pedophlie Pete - he works here alot espiecially in the area near the girls cabin.And sometimes the boys.Job - head of the girls department.
- Big Boobs Betty - She seems to be liked by the boys alot every since the car wash fundraiser where she came with no bra and a tang top.Job - helper
- Fatass Phil - he seems he only wants the food here Dont know why?
Job - Fatass,cook
- crack dealer carry - She doesn't really work here,Seems to be liked by all the campers.
- other Staff - The staff here are mostly focused on the security room.
Health and sanitary issues
Here at Camp Refugee we are very concerned about the health of are staff and maybe the campers.We take great care to assure that are staff meet the highest of sanitary and health checks and that are campers are as healthy as a plaque ridden rat horse.We never take every health test to see if are campers are super-healthy and we feed the campers shit everyday for free if you watch a syfy original movie and survived it,but if you didn't you have to pay $10.00 every month.The food we eat is almost never clean and sanitary.Are kitchens and mess halls are filled with roaches and ticks but sometimes we clean.Are cooks are homeless people looking for a job and are very impolite and mild-mannered well.The main food we eat is shit and rotting fruits,vegtables,and meats.If a camper get sick we let them die in a ditch or try to give them medicine in the form of weed and herbs from the area around the nuclear power plant with the radiation leaking around it and from the around the lake.
bathrooms and showerooms
Here at Camp Refugee we have 6 restrooms and showerooms,the bathrooms are fillied with shit on the floor and sometimes clean and the girls bathroom has cameras so are teenage staff could masturbait because its boring here at Camp Refugee showers are split into Boys and girls ussually.The boys showeroom contains condoms,didoes, vibrators and maybe soap and shampoo.The girls showerroom contains tampons and maxi-pads for accidents and maybe soap and conditioner as well as a passage so the boys can sneak in and have sex with them in a bathroom.All showerrooms contain lockers with secret places where you can keep weed and condoms and are kept private from the staff most of the time and are filled with cameras,especially in the girls showeroom and did I mention that if someone makes fun of another persons private area that you are supposed to make fun of him or her for it being to small or tiny,trust me itsalmost never against the rules unless he as a big penis then its bad.
Night and day
After a nice game of hunter the remainder of the campers head to there designated bedrooms around 10 o' clock if anyone is seen wondering around after the curfew will be shot on sight by are security guards,unless they are trying to solve some mystery or alien that is around then its ok,becuase the mystery or alien ussually will kill all the staff and leave a couple kids to fend them off until the cops or army come and blow it up or something.the Boys bedroom contains 10 bunkbeds,desser, and covers so they can masturbait.The girls room contains the same contentsjust with lots of HD cameras.note if a girl/boy goes into the opposite sex's room its ok as long as they have sex with them
You can just skip this as there is Nothing wrong with are camp. except the fact that are camp was blamed for the multiple rapes and deaths by are sick-minded activities and evil staff by the United Nations.The UN states that we are the number one reason for 1/10 of all the worlds deathsIts not like we just want your money so we can see your kids get killied and raped.RIGHT
Are rivals are the
cliched type rich kids across the lake there camp is called Camp Fuck You Die
and beat us at every thing with there guns and powerful speeches.But if you join today and I mean today,not tomarrow bitch We might have a chance at beating them. If you don't we will go to your house and kill/rape your family,friends,nieghbors and there nieghbours and there nieghbors and so on.... Join us now! .
We are happily welcomed to have you here at our concetration camp.If you had fun call this hotline 555-555-5555 or visit us at joincamprefugeeordie.com.And we will have fun forever..forever...forever..