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Revision as of 07:57, August 12, 2011

“Be a better psychiatrist and the world will beat a psychopath to your door.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Psychopaths
Psychopaths, or sociopaths, are people whose only real crime is that they have their eye on the prize all the time. The poor psychopath has been sorely maligned by popular culture. This article attempts to set the record straight.

A brief list of stereotypes and the realities behind them

Psychopaths are geniuses
This is such a load of bunk that it can be dismissed in a heartbeat. Some psychopaths are the dumbest people I've ever met, and have no remorse, even for themselves. As their lives implode around them, they don't seem to comprehend their own plight. A lot of them are loudmouthed and overbearing. That is not my definition of smart.
Psychopaths, for all their charm, have no love for others
This is unfair to psychopaths. You haven't given them a chance. Come on. One more. Just one more chance. Pretty please?
Psychopaths would slice your throat as soon as look at you
You've been watching too many Hollywood movies, haven't you? That machete that you found in your psychopathic boyfriend's dresser drawer wasn't for harming anyone! It's a hobby of his! He's a knife collector! Sharpens that one every day. He takes care of his stuff.
Psychopaths would huff kittens if you let them
But psychopaths are such nice people. How can you say such things? I've know these psychopaths for years!


Psychopaths show a great interest in the study of insects. They just want to pluck the wings and legs off insects while they're alive, and laugh as they squirm.

Childhood Precursors

Children practice up for psychopathyhood by keeping a lot of dead and dismembered mice in the freezer. Then they make up elaborate stories as to how the squirrels got there to their parents.

From there, of course, they graduate to killing squirrels, then kittens.


The good news is that psychopaths make up only about 1% of us. The bad news is, pscyhopaths like to "fuck and run", so if the condition has a genetic component as many therapists believe, then it won't stay low for too many more years.

Legal Response

In some parts of North America, it is illegal to be a psychopath. This is difficult to enforce, as they often comprise the Cheif of Police, some politicians and businessmen in many jurisdictions.