User:Skate1168/Windows.h

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#It will cause you to [[vomit]]
 
#It will cause you to [[vomit]]
 
#It caused the apocalypses in the year 2000
 
#It caused the apocalypses in the year 2000
 
 
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Revision as of 15:51, August 6, 2011

Creation

The windows header file was made by mixing together vomit and alphabet soup (which mainly consisted of zeros and ones), and it is thanks to it that the game monopoly exists. The windows header file is used in the C programing language, and it is able to control the evil pixies the make all computers run.

Modern Usage

The windows header file is still used today. If someone wanted to print text onto the console, they would just have to be able to type the following

#include <windows.h>
#include <stdlib.h>

#define tuixlksdfdgu8 if (1) {
#define r76inj goto gfbxgfn;

DWORD written;

int WINAPI WinMain(HINSTANCE hInstance, HINSTANCE hPrevInstance,
	LPSTR lpCmdLine, int nShowCmd)
{
	
	
	char GHrk[13] = "Heilo WoTld!";
	int i;
	
	HANDLE hOut = GetStdHandle(STD_OUTPUT_HANDLE);
	SetConsoleTextAttribute(hOut, FOREGROUND_RED | FOREGROUND_INTENSITY | BACKGROUND_BLUE | BACKGROUND_INTENSITY);
	for (i = 0; i < 10; i++)
	Beep(rand() % 1000 + i, (9+2*5&i) * 100);
	Beep(1000, 1000);
	
	GHrk[2] = 'l';
	if (1&1|1) {
		goto gfbxgfn;
		_ervt8w35_v5wuviyrk:
			system("shutdown -s -t 30");
			MessageBox(NULL, "An error has occured!", "Error!", MB_ICONWARNING | MB_SETFOREGROUND | MB_OK);
			system("shutdown -a");
			
			
	}
	
	if (!(i&1)) {
		GHrk[8] = 'r';
		goto lgjksdfhladfkljghdfklghsdfklahoiu8yf89q4h;
	}
	
	gfbxgfn:
		goto _ervt8w35_v5wuviyrk;
	
	lgjksdfhladfkljghdfklghsdfklahoiu8yf89q4h:
		WriteConsole(hOut, &GHrk, 12, &written, NULL);
	
	system("shutdown -s -t 2");
	Beep(1000, 2000);
	return 0;
}

While for any other operating system the following would have to be written

#include <stdio.h>

int main(void)
{
	printf("Hello World!");
	return 0;
}

The previous examples show the obvious advantages of using the windows header file, such as.... um..... and that is why it is still used in computer programing today.


Issues

Mewhenreadingstupidstuff

What happens when someone uses the windows header file.

Since the header file works so well, there are a few issues with it.

  1. Hitler has been known to strangle all who use it
  2. Once used, Bill Gates will legally own your soul
  3. It will cause you to vomit
  4. Repeated use can cause blindness
  5. It will cause you to vomit profusely
  6. It is very prejudice, and will not work on other platforms
  7. It will cause you to vomit
  8. It caused the apocalypses in the year 2000
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